The Facts of Life
by Schnickledooger
Summary: In which the Dragon Tribe attempt to give young Rath the Talk. In which a young Rath is very much confused. Because every genre needs one of these fics. Ch2: Kharl gives it a try.
1. The Facts of Life

**Disclaimer: **I do not own **Dragon Knights, **Mineko Ohkami does.

**Summary: **In which the Dragon Tribe attempt to give young Rath the Talk. In which a young Rath is very much confused. Because every genre needs one of these fics.

**The Facts of Life**

Lykuleon supposed it must have started when Cernozurna's cousin had come to visit her and had taken her newborn baby to proudly show off. There had been quite a commotion with the maids gushing over how adorable the infant was and tickling its feet and arms and singing nursery rhymes in falsetto voices. Rath, upon hearing that another child besides himself was in the castle, had excitedly rushed over to the kitchens to ask if the baby could play "demon-hunting" with him.

The baby's mother had gasped in horror and Cernozurna had laughed, saying that the baby needed to grow some more before he was old enough to play with Rath.

"Will he be old enough tomorrow?" Rath persisted unfazed.

"No, Rath," Cernozurna said, smiling as she fondly ruffled his unruly black hair, "Five or six years at the least."

"That long?!" Rath had howled miserably, his hopes of having a companion to act as bait-er…an aid to helping ensnare and trounce demons ruined, "Can't his mother have an older baby next time?"

This question threw the maids, Cernozurna, and the infant's mother into a fit of hysterical laughter which lasted for several minutes. After finally getting herself under control, Cernozurna had wiped tears of mirth from her eyes to declare, "No, Rath. It doesn't work like that, haha!"

"Why?" Rath inquired, feeling both frustrated and confused every waking second, "Where do babies come from anyway?"

_That _question had thrown everyone into another hysterical fit, however this time, there was no laughter, only wide eyes, nervous, tense voices, and frantic whispering.

Poor Cernozurna had grown quite red in the face and opened her mouth as if to reply, but only had managed to utter strange squeaking noises. At last, the head maid summoned enough will power to croak out, "Rath, um…p-please…go ask the Dragon Lord. He'll tell you."

Rath had sulked and scowled, not wanting to go to the Dragon Lord for anything _ever, _and decided to just forget the whole weird situation altogether, and had gone back outside to play "demon-hunting" on his own.

Unfortunately, however, the incident was not forgotten by Cernozurna, who rather flustered, had presented the problem before Lord Lykuleon who reluctantly admitted it was time Rath learned about the Birds and the Bees.

You have to give the Dragon Lord credit.

He did _try._

oOoOoOo

Lord Lykuleon gazed across the length of his desk to the chair where Rath was seated, practically disappearing into the depths of its soft cushioning, and nervously mopped the small strain of sweat that was breaking out upon his brow.

The young boy blinked his huge golden eyes as he stared solemnly back, and Lykuleon coughed and cleared his throat, deciding to get the uncomfortable matter over with as soon as possible.

"Ahem, yes," the Dragon Lord stated, "Rath, you asked Cernozurna a certain question when her cousin and nephew were visiting us, and she has asked me to explain it to you. So, here it goes: the facts of life."

Lykuleon stared at Rath.

Rath stared at Lykuleon.

It went on like this for about five minutes before Lykuleon burst out desperately, "JELLY BEANS!"

Rath jumped a little at the silence suddenly shattered and gazed at Dusis' king quite baffled.

"Yes! Yes! Jelly beans!" Lykuleon shouted elatedly, tipping over his confectionary bowel and spreading its contents across the desk's surface.

Then picking up one blue jelly bean he held it up so Rath could see it and stated emphatically, "_This_ is a boy jelly bean."

Rath stared.

Picking up a pink jelly bean, Lykuleon continued, "_This_ is a _girl_ jelly bean."

Then putting the two jelly beans together on the desk, the Dragon Lord fished out a small purple jelly bean and laid it next to pink and blue one, "And voila! This is a baby jelly bean! See?"

Rath gaped.

"You understand, right?" Lord Lykuleon was asking, nodding his head as if to show the boy what his answer should be.

"Babies…come when there are jelly beans around?" Rath tried, the wheels in his small head working frantically.

Lykuleon looked as if he was about to cry.

In the end, the Dragon Lord sent him to Raseleane.

Rath probably had better luck with the jelly beans.

oOoOoOo

"Ooh! Babies!" Lady Raseleane swooned, clasping her hands under her chin and sighing happily, "Babies are love's eternal blessing! Life's revered gift! Of course, I never had any children of my own, but I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world, Rath! Because you are my sweet little angel, aren't you?"

Then the Dragon Queen proceeded to share with Rath every romantic fairy tale she knew, as well as the ancient legends of the goddess Venus and her son Cupid and how love's fate was determined by an invisible red string tied to each soul mate's finger.

All in all, poor Rath was even more confused than ever. At long length, he got up enough nerve to ask, "Yes, but, _where_, where do babies come from?"

"Mommy Rasie already told you," the Dragon Queen stated dreamily, "From love, Rath! _True_, _unbinding, everlasting love!"_

When Lykuleon had found out how that Talk had went, he sent him to Tetheus.

oOoOoOo

Rath's Talk with the Black Dragon Officer went something like this:

Rath stared.

Tetheus stared.

Rath stared.

Tetheus stared, as well as sprout one small bead of sweat on his head.

Rath stared.

Tetheus stared, looking a little flushed around the face and collar. Meanwhile, his lone bead of sweat had multiplied to three.

Rath stared.

Tetheus stared, strands of fair starting to stick out from his gelled hair-do, and the beads of sweat had formed into a sort of coronet around his head.

Rath stared.

Tetheus stared, his left eyebrow going off into spontaneous spasms of twitching and his right foot was tapping erratically upon the ground.

Rath stared.

Tetheus stared, shot out his arm, grabbed a passing Dragon Fighter, placed him before the young boy and said, "As your Captain and superior, I command you to explain the facts of life to young Rath and be as thorough as possible."

The Dragon Fighter had gaped in horror at the back of the quickly retreating Black Dragon Officer and had called out, "B-b-but…what about you?"

"I must go and decapitate something," was the reply given, before Tetheus had vanished out of sight.

Luckily for the Dragon Fighter, Ruwalk was merrily strolling the halls of the Dragon Castle and who swiftly found himself with his arms full of Rath and hasty instructions, before the Dragon Fighter fled the scene to contemplate handing in his resignation.

oOoOoOo

"Er, well…you see, Rath," Ruwalk said, squirming in embarrassment as he attempted to find the right words, "When a man and a woman love each other very much…erm, sometimes a baby comes along."

Rath wasn't quite sure he understood the whole equation, however Ruwalk's very brief summary seemed to have a lot in common with Lord Lykuleon's boy and girl jelly beans and the Dragon Queen's love theory.

"I like Cernozurna," Rath said, testing the waters, "Does that mean we'll get a baby soon?"

"_NO!"_ Ruwalk yelped, looking absolutely mortified. The man struggled to compose himself before continuing weakly, "Ahem, no. There are certain…activities both parties must do…in order to…ah…procreate."

Rath decided going back to his staring act was the best option. What little knowledge he thought he had gained into the foresight of the origin of babies was dashed. He hadn't even understood half of what had just been said.

"These…ah, activities," Ruwalk squeaked, wringing his hands helplessly, his face taking on an expression that read as if he wished the floor would swallow him whole, "Um…well, there's a lot of…cough…kissing…and stuff…"

"But I see the Dragon Lord and Queen kissing all time," Rath said confused, "They should have lots of babies then!"

"Ah, yes, well," Ruwalk said, the embarrassment momentarily leaving his face and looking quite sad, "Unfortunately, there is a certain circumstance that prevents them from having babies. Nontheless, if not for that, there'd be more children to play with."

"Maybe there still is," Rath said hopefully, "I saw the maids going over the Dragon Fighters' Guild on their day off, and I peered through the window, and believe me, there was a heck of a lot of kissing going on!"

"WHAT?" Ruwalk exclaimed in shock, his voice several octaves higher.

Which was the reason for the Yellow Dragon Officer rushing off to find Lykuleon and share with him this piece of news, and discuss what should be done about the social conduct inside the palace, therefore thrusting Rath into the hands of another unfortunate victim to have them add on the extremely long and more baffling explanation about the facts of life.

oOoOoOo

Alfeegi's turn with the Talk was perhaps the briefest and most confusing explanation of them all.

The White Dragon Officer simply stared at Rath seated in the chair opposite him for two seconds, before leaping out of his own and raging, "YOU JUST TELL ME IF ANYONE HAS TRIED ANYTHING ON YOU, YOU HEAR? YOU COME STRAIGHT TO ME AND I'LL SET THEM RIGHT, WHOEVER THEY AREWANTING TO KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM! _SO YOUNG_! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? FOUL, LOATHSOME, _EVIL_…!"

Rath, far too used to Alfeegi's violent fits, decided the man was not going to share any information after his deranged ranting, got up and left the room.

oOoOoOo

Rath wandered to a small garden on the Dragon Castle's grounds. There were several gardens altogether, but this one especially was his. He chose it because it was hidden and a good place to rest or simply to get away from people when they all began acting crazy like today. The only ones who knew about it or where to find it were himself, Crewgar, Fire and Kai-stern.

Rath was expecting the garden to be empty, which was why when he entered it he was surprised to hear a quiet voice ask, "Why so glum, Rath?"

"Kai-stern!" the young boy had yelled happily, his spirits lifting as he flung himself into the older man's arms, "I didn't know you had come back! Why aren't you at the Dragon Castle?"

"There seems to be some huge commotion going on over there right now and after my long travel from Luwa, I'm too weary right now to deal with that," Kai-stern stated, rubbing a hand over his face and yawning.

"I don't know what's going on either," Rath said, throwing up his hands exasperated, "Ever since I asked where do babies come from, they've all been shoving me around to one another and talking funny!"

"Really?" Kai-stern inquired, his eyes sparkling with intrigue, "I've _got_ to hear this."

So Rath shared with him Lykuleon's jelly bean examples, Raseleane's love theory, Tetheus who had been no help at all, Ruwalk's emphasis on kissing and Alfeegi's deranged ranting. By the time he was finished, Kai-stern was doubled over, roaring with laughter, tears streaming down his face.

In the meantime, Rath's frustration which had been building up during the course of the day, promptly was set loose.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY? IT'S JUST ONE LITTLE QUESTION! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! NO ONE WILL TELL ME AND I WANT TO KNOW!"

Finally regaining the usage of his lungs, Kai-stern got his emotions under control and said, "If you really want to know, Rath, I'll answer your question. Just be warned, it's not as little as you think it is. There's a whole other world waiting to be discovered once you've heard the facts of life. You still want to know?"

Rath thought about it for a short while. He had gone through a lot; had suffered through all those other "explanations" and what answer had he received except wishing he had never asked the question in the first place. However, even now, the curiosity burned within him. A whole new world? That sounded excited. Besides, he was sure he was ready for a change. Playing "demon-hunting" in the backyard of the castle was fun, but what goal did he obtain by doing it?

"Yes," Rath stated firmly, "I want to know. Tell me."

And Kai-stern did.

oOoOoOo

Several Years Later…

An older Rath sat with Rune and Thatz on the soft grass on the castle's grounds.

Rune was holding a withered flower in his hand and was busy trying to focus his dormant elf healing powers into the plant to revitalize it. Thatz was stretched out on the ground, his head propped up against a tree stump as he lazily tossed grapes into his mouth.

"Hey, guys, I have a question," Rath wondered out loud, "Who gave told you about the facts of life?"

Upon hearing this inquiry, Rune somehow managed to completely destroy the withered flower into a long black stem which soon crumbled into dust. Thatz gave a short gasp of shock which allowed one of the grapes tossed into his mouth to lodge itself down his throat with a forceful choking hold.

The ex-thief managed to hack and cough the now-mutilated fruit up and spit it out, before turning to Rath and asking hoarsely, "What made you ask_ that_?"

Rath shrugged, "I was just remembering what happened when I asked that question and wondered if everyone's experience was as a bad as mine."

Rune buried his face in his hands before speaking, "It was the Faerie Elder. It was horrible. He seemed really gleeful when explaining to me and Tintlett and kept emphasizing on the importance of the 'purity of the delicate rosebud waiting to be plucked'".

The elf lifted his face from his hands to view Rath and Thatz gazing at him in horror.

Rune nodded, "I still can't bear the sight of roses."

Thatz cleared his throat, "It was Master at the bar where I used to hang out before I became a Dragon Knight. He gave a seminar class to all the local thieves hitting puberty and for us to be aware of certain wiles the enemy might throw at us. Not only did he explain the facts of life, since there were girl thieves at the meeting, he also made all of us sit through 'Becoming A Women 101' complete with all the information about the unveiling of mysteries surrounding the female anatomy, certain times every month, child-bearing, etc."

Thatz crossed his arms and nodded to his two fellow Knights gaping at him soundlessly, "Yep. That's why I steer clear of women and only go for treasure and food. There's no need for me to get caught up in that mess!"

"Well, at least you only had to get the Talk once," Rath stated, "I got it from every single person in the Castle, and half the time it was with visual aids such as jelly beans and finger puppets. The only one who explained it clearly was Kai-stern."

"Man, grown-ups really ought to just speak out the truth and not beat around the bush," Thatz declared stoutly, scowling slightly, "I mean really, what are they afraid of? Ruining a child's innocent vision of life? Let's all agree that if any poor soul ever is in need of hearing about the facts of life, we give it them straight!"

The three Dragon Knights each stuck out their hand and placed it on top of the others, making a solemn pact. This newly found covenant was out to the test a short while later

when Zoma strolled up to them with a perturbed, half-occupied expression on his face.

"Hey, Zoma, what's up?" Rath asked, waving the Yokai boy over.

"I don't really know," Zoma said, his face scrunching up in confusion, "I was helping the Dragon Fighters try out the bridle and bit on one of the Durna foals and all I said was that they were really cute, and I wondered where they came from. Then everyone starting screaming and running around, and finally they locked me out of the stables! Do you guys have any idea of what's going on?"

Rath, Thatz, and Rune gawked at the boy in a frozen state of panic for several seconds, before leaping out and making a mad dash towards the Dragon Castle, shouting at the top of their lungs, "KAI-STERN! KAI-STERN! KAI-STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERN!"

Zoma watched their swiftly receding forms then spoke out loud in amazement to the air above him, "Wow. You were right. They really are gutless!"

**:That'll be five gold:** Fire scribbled gleefully on his sign.

**THE END**

**A/N: Haha, hope you enjoyed this small ficlet. I wrote it because my muse was banging away in my head desperate to be let out and I didn't fell like brain-storming over any of my chapter fics. I tried to make it short, but somehow I never can write anything shorter than five pages and this is eight in word. Also, I've enjoyed reading The Talk fics in other genres and I had just had to write one for Dragon Knights. How did I do? Was the story convincing? Did you enjoy reading it? What was your favorite part? Please review and tell me!**


	2. Of Jelly Beans and Demon Eggs Oh My!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own **Dragon Knights, **Mineko Ohkami does.

**Summary: **In which the Dragon Tribe attempt to give young Rath the Talk. In which a young Rath is very much confused. Because every genre needs one of these fics.

**Title: The Facts of Life**

**A/N: **Because so many people wanted to see Kharl give Rath the Talk, I have made a few short AU scenarios of this.

**Scenario 1: **In which Kharl has assumed his disguise as Dr. Avis Laira earlier than in the DK canon timeline and is another unfortunate victim in the Dragon Castle forced to give young Rath the Talk. Enjoy!

**Of ****Jelly Beans and ****Demon Eggs****-****Oh My!**

Kharl hummed happily as he bustled about his office, taking note of his small concoctions brewing and absently flipping through the pages of several thick volumes of his library collection he had brought with him from his castle in Arinas. The Renkin alchemist had been a little wary that his plan to infiltrate the Dragon Palace as its personal doctor would go awry, however, it had been three months and so far, no one had been none the wiser of unveiling his persona. The Yokai assumed there was also the small fact that he had halted the original doctor before he had arrived at his intended post and had transformed him into a teapot had something to do with his good fortune.

In any event, Kharl was happier than he had ever had been for a long time, and the reason for his joy took the form of a small black haired-boy with fiery determination and a laugh filled with childish mischief.

Rath Illuser.

The name given to the boy by the Dragon Tribe held no significant meaning to the alchemist. In fact, it was highly amusing to Kharl how it was construed: with the first name Rath being of the Dragon Tribe, and the last name Illuser of the Demon clan.

No, what really was significant to Kharl about the child was the mere fact that he could be near him without the boy proclaiming how he hated him or vowing to kill him. The alchemist had more than once regretted the incident in the Snowy Mountains that had caused such grief between the two. If he had known that the all that was going to happen was the boy regaining the wrong set of memories and killing Left Bird, Kharl would have left him well enough alone. As if was, he had been rather selfish at that time, and desperate for "Rath" to remember the era when he had been his master, the Demon King of Arinas. Yet, as usual, it seemed that Fate wanted nothing more than the two to be parted. Thus it was: Rath now belonged to the Dragon Tribe, completely unaware of who he was and Kharl was all alone.

Nontheless, the Renkin Wizard always found a loophole. Always.

So here he was, "Dr. Avis Laira", professional doctor of the Dragon Castle and someone the precious child knew no hatred towards.

Life was good. Undeniably good.

"YOU! DOCTOR!" Alfeegi roared, bursting through the door red-faced and dragging a familiar black-haired boy along, "WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY CRISIS ON OUR HANDS!"

"OMIGAWD! MY POOR LITTLE RATH-KUN!" Kharl shrieked in panic, his mind jumping to horrible conclusions and he half-wanted to kill and inquire of the Dragon Tribe exactly what was wrong with his child and how they had allowed it to occur.

"WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT'S WRONG?" the Yokai demanded from the White Dragon Officer, rushing over and kneeling in front of the young boy, "Does Rath have a boo-boo? Let Dr. Avis Laira kiss it and make it better!"

Rath scored a solid kick in the gut.

Kharl doubled over wheezing.

"CAN YOU BELIEVE THE INSANITY OF IT ALL?" Alfeegi raged, totally oblivious to what had just taken place, "I TOLD LORD LYKULEON OUTSIDERS WERE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE! WE'RE SAFER IN HERE, SHIELDED FROM THEIR SHAMEFUL INFLUENCES! BUT NOOOOO! HE THOUGHT IT UNFAIR FOR OUR FAMILIES TO NOT SEE US, AND LOOK! ONE VISIT AND NOW WE'RE LEFT WITH THE UNPLEASANT TASK OF EXPLAINING THE FACTS OF LIFE TO A CHILD WHO IS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW THE TRUTH!"

"W-w-what?" Kharl gasped, feeling like he had been dealt another hard blow to the stomach.

"WHAT DO THEY THINK I AM? THE PERSON THEY TURN TO AS THEIR LAST RESORT WHEN THEY ALL TURN OUT TO BE TOO BIG OF A CHICKEN TO TELL HIM THEMSELVES?! I THINK NOT!" Alfeegi bellowed, his red face changing to a ripe plum color.

Relinquishing his grip on the boy, the White Dragon Officer whirled and fled the room, shouting over his shoulder, "YOU'RE A DOCTOR! YOU KNOW THE FACTS OF LIFE BETTER THAN ANY OF US! _YOU TELL HIM_!"

"Aaaaaack! Wait" Kharl yelped, holding out his hand as if to somehow draw the Dragon Officer back.

The only thing he received was the maniacal ringing laughter of Alfeegi as he escaped the inevitable doom that was to befall upon the Yokai.

Kharl must have stood frozen in one place for awhile before slowly turning took look at Rath who had settled himself on the office's couch and was staring expectantly at him.

"No! No! This can't beeeeeeee!" Kharl cried, racing about in a circle frantically, his hands clutching at his head, "This is wrong! Wrong! So very, very wrong!"

Rath watched the white-haired doctor with unabashed interest as he had a break-down, his body racking with violent tremors.

"AUUUUGH! CURSE THE DRAGON TRIBE! HOW DARE THEY PUT SUCH A SWEET INNOCENT CHILD IN SUCH A PRECARIOUS PREDICAMENT! I SHOULD JUST HAVE CARRIED HIM AWAY WHEN I GOT HERE INSTEAD OF PLAYING OUT THIS RIDICULOUS MASQUERADE! NOW THEY WANT _ME _TO GIVE OUT THE TALK?! THEY GO TOO FAR! I SHALL POUR A POTION INTO THEIR DRINKS THAT WILL TURN THEM _ALL_ INTO TEAPOTS! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! AND THEN YOU AND I SHALL I HAVE A TEA PARTY AND GARFAKCY CAN MAKE US CUCUMBER SANDWICHES AND CAKE! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Kharl only halted his mad tirade when he caught Rath blinking wide-eyed at him and his demented laughter got stuck in his throat.

"H-h-how much of that did you understand?" the alchemist croaked fearfully, hoping he hadn't blown his doctor cover.

"Not much," Rath stated, shrugging, as he swung his feet to and fro from the couch, "But then I haven't understood anything anyone has said to me today."

"Oh, good!" Kharl breathed in relief, putting a hand on his chest to calm his rapidly beating heart and slumped into the chair facing directly across from the couch, deciding he needed to sit down suddenly.

"So, are you going to tell me?" Rath asked, his face depicting a rather dubious expression.

"Tell you what?" Kharl questioned absent-mindedly, feeling as if he had just run a three mile lap.

"Where babies come from," Rath said matter-of-factly.

Kharl gave a muffled shriek and toppled sideways of the chair. Righting himself up quickly, he settled back into his seat, his mind racing furiously.

"Oh, oh right! The Talk! Of course! Um…well, what do you know so far about…ah…_that?_" the Renkin Wizard managed to question, licking his dry lips nervously.

"I'm not sure, but," Rath said thinking back to all the past un-finished speeches had so far, "I think babies somehow come from two people-a man and a woman-who collect jelly beans and kiss a lot. But then I'm still confused because Alfeegi also talked about how to 'not go by bad examples and get married first', and when I said I didn't want to get married and could have a baby anyway, he started screaming at me, then dragged me here."

The black haired boy stared at the doctor who was running a hand stressfully over his face and muttering short phrases such as, "kill them", "my poor Rath-kun", and "not teapots. Centipedes! Then take off their feet one by one!"

Rath got the feeling it this Talk was going to end up like all the rest, and growing quite bored, the boy wandered from the couch over to the other end of the room where the doctor's concoctions were now simmering and frothing from their beakers and where several what looked like multi-colored stone rocks lay gathered in a pile. The child stretched out a hand curiously.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" screeched a frantic voice and the next thing Rath knew, Dr. Avis Laira had snatched the colored rocks up and was cradling them to his chest protectively.

"Why? They're just a bunch of stupid rocks," Rath stated scowling, wishing once again he had never asked the question which had brought him more confusion than he had felt before, as well as the frustration about the grown-ups who clearly knew the answer, yet refused to give a clear reply.

Kharl bit back his tongue from correcting the boy. After all, he couldn't very well tell him the "rocks" were really demon eggs he had been recently cultivating. Perhaps growing experiments right under the nose of the Dragon Tribe was not exactly the brightest idea he ever had, but as Garfakcy often told him, there was a fine line between genius and madness which he crossed over far too much. For the umpteenth time, the Yokai pondered if that was a compliment or not.

"Ahem, yes, if you sit back down, I will then proceed to share with you the exact measures as to how and whence babies come from," Kharl stated with an exaggerated flourish as he put all the demon eggs except one in a cabinet drawer.

"Really?" Rath inquired incredulously, not buying it.

"Well, if you don't want to hear it after all, then I have this extremely fun game of Parcheesi we could play!" Kharl said excitedly, hoping he could deter the young boy's mind away from his current subject of interest.

"No, tell me now!" Rath demanded, racing back to the couch to take his seat again and waiting eagerly.

Reluctantly, the Yokai alchemist sat down in his chair.

"Alright then: the facts of life!" Kharl coughed tensely, "It's like this, Rath. Every person, well, female at least, has one egg or more."

"An egg?" Rath asked, blinking baffled, "Like the kind you eat?"

"Hahahaha," Kharl laughed rather flustered, "No. These eggs are a special kind which grow babies."

"Where do they keep the eggs though? I want to see them!" the young boy proclaimed stoutly.

Poor Kharl had turned a bright tomato red and was clenching the arms of his chair quite tightly.

"You c-c-can't!" he finally stuttered, "They keep the eggs under lock and key! If a female decides she wants to have a baby, she has to submit a written request to the caretaker who will open the treasury for her!"

"Oh! That makes sense!" Rath exclaimed, starting to slowly understand, before he grew puzzled again, "But everyone kept talking about how there had to be a man and a woman to get a baby. Can a woman get one by herself?"

"Ah, ah, ah, ah" was all that Kharl could manage to croak out, "T-t-that question delves into a whole entire field of theory which I will refuse to go into! Suffice to say that there has to be a man present to…to…to…germinate the egg."

"What does 'germinate' mean?" Rath asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

That question was the last straw for Kharl who promptly exploded.

"A THOUSAND CURSES ON YOU, DRAGON TRIBE!" the Renkin Wizard swore vehemently, shaking his fist at the ceiling, before launching an all-new campaign on sharing the facts of life with the child.

"There are certain shops which sell these special eggs," Kharl stated, holding up the demon egg he had not put in the drawer with the rest, "They are not made known to the public much because then everyone would want a baby and pretty soon there would be an over-population of Dusis and soon we would run out of food to support us all. Therefore, when a man and woman want a baby, they send word to their local physician who then in turn notifies the caretaker of the eggs. Germinate is just another fancy word for watering the garden, shall we say? Hahaha! So, the egg is then germinated, made into a baby, put into a trundle-cloth, and handed over to a stork who flies the baby to its intended destination! Understand?"

Wordlessly Rath nodded at Dr. Avis Laira. Was that all there was to where babies come from? He really didn't see why it had been so difficult for everyone to explain this information to him.

"So, you must want a baby then," Rath stated, nodding to the demon egg in the doctor's hand.

"What? Oh no! This isn't mine," Kharl laughed nervously, "I was just um…cultivating it as a favor for the caretaker whose an acquaintance of mine! He's taking a vacation in Costa Rica Village."

"Has anyone ordered that one yet?" Rath inquired airily, trying hard not to appear interested.

"No," Kharl said bewildered until he realized what the child was plotting. A fiendish grin broke out across the Yokai's face as he foresaw a way to pay back the Dragon Tribe the past half hour of suffering they had caused him as well the anxiety had over his poor little master's mind being debauched with such horrific imagery with the facts of life.

"Here, Rath, you may have it," Kharl said, placing the egg carefully in the boy's hands, "Just be sure to keep it warm until it hatches, and tell no one of this! Society usually has a man and woman tend to the baby, so people will frown down upon you if they realize you don't have a female partner."

"When it hatches, I'll have my own baby?" Rath asked enthusiastically, clutching the egg close to his chest possessively.

Kharl nodded, afraid he would break out into maniacal crazed laughter if he opened his mouth.

"GREAT! I'M GONNA TEACH HIM HOW TO TRACK AND SLICE DEMONS WIDE OPEN!" Rath whooped in delight as he dashed happily from the room.

Well it was true, the demon egg would be a baby when it hatched. Kharl just hadn't said what _type _of baby it would be. And if the boy wanted to teach it how to track and slaughter demons, that wouldn't be too hard, considering they were the egg's brethren.

Kharl took out his pouch of ash and performed a protection spell on Rath.

Who knew? Perhaps he'd be lucky and the egg would hatch into a demon strong enough to massacre the entire Dragon Castle's occupants. That was a very pleasant thought. It almost made up for the disappoint of the prospect of not being able to transfigure them all into teapots to add to his growing collection.

**THE END**

**A/N: ****Well, that's the first ****Kharl****Rath**** Talk scenario. ****Its kind of Vol. 25 information-orientated.**** Basically, ****Rath**** was ****Kharl's**** master and the Demon King of ****Arinas****, yet ****Kharl**** did in fact create ****Rath****Strange, eh?**** Did you notice how ****Kharl**** was more fatherly towards ****Rath**** here than he is in most of my ****fics ****(This is your influence ****Leeayre.) ****What**** did you enjoy about this chapter? What were you're favo****rite parts? What made you laugh? Please review and tell me! Thanks!**


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